These Intimacies

Works In Progress

Distractions and New Directions

Story of my life.

Been nothing but confusion and doubt since I had to leave CCAD.

I had a solid plan, a pattern.

I feel like I'm back at the begin yet, a little worse off.

The attempt now is to force the results on my own.

I'm exhausted by all this time wasted.

The Broken Promises.

Oh I'm working on things alright.

Currently hating this digital camera and the way my computer has been behaving lately.

My focus right now is to not think.

Seriously. I've realized that I think too much and that's what's distracting me from creating the way I used to.

I want to loose my mind.

Afareen.

I realized that I spend most of my time in transit. Hours a day, hours a week. I'm sure days worth through out the months and years. Spending time moving from one place to another.

A to B.

Walking. Everywhere.

To do laundry. To go to 7-11.

Walking to bus stops. Waiting for buses. Riding buses.

Waiting for rides.

Driving.

To Work. To A Friend's. To go out to eat.

Across the country.

Waiting in the airport. Waiting for takeoff clearance. Hours in the air.

I don't know the math but, I believe I spend more than average amounts of my days/most of my life moving around. In transit.

I'd like to spend less of my life constantly moving/waiting/wasting.

Yet, nothing has come into my life to make me feel comfortable enough to settle.

At least it's been a while.

Twigs and Dirt.

I miss drawing from life in a classroom setting. Drawing from photos doesn't cut it.

I also do not like using conte pencils on this paper.

Swirls and Women.

Women are highly sensitive and moody creature. No matter how rough and stable of an impression they give off, they are still just women. Insecurities are something we all have in common. They might varry in subject or degree but, for the most part, all of us have some kind of insecurity. Image, career path, dating, habits....

I vented with a friend the other night about my recent anxiousness about my art and having left CCAD and attempting ASU in the fall. I'm eager to start back schooling but, it still doesn't seem right. Something is off....

My friend didn't say much in response but, a simple few words. Sometimes that's all we need to calm the mind.

Sometimes the ear from a certain person can subdue mental stress.

We still have insecurities and no matter what forces from the outside try and assist with them, it truly all comes down to yourself. Taking command of your own mind and making yourself who you want to truly be.

The Zero Mind.

Sanguine might be my favorite color to draw with. Other than the grey sepia.

Raisa

It's surprising what can be created in transit.

Steps To Something Else...

There's this whole series in my head. I should probably be working on that.

Sketching Without Thinking.

And it begins.